Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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