I'm so fucking centered right now
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize