why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
