Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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