He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
