Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
All right well Iβm making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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