dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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