Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
