New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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