oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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