I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
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I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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