I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Come see our sink grown plant.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
