A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
