Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize