If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
