i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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