I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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