then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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