Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
