you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Randomize
