and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
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He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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