i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
