so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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