the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
