The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
