Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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