Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
