i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
