so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize