How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
