I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Actions speak louder than pants.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
