At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Randomize
