the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
