i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize