My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
