White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
