he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
