my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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