Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
