I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You ruined the universe
Randomize