I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
