One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize