No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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