gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
