Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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