omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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