I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize