Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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