On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
