I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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