you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
