That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
