I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
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woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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