It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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