Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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