There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
