who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
