We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it's like heaven, but drunker
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
