this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
