People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
