It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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