You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
